Big Boob Friday™

Happy July 4th Big Boob Friday: Special Birthday Edition!!!  You know what goes well with July 4th?  Fireworks?  No.  Booze?  No.  BBQ?  No stupid, Limp Bizkit.

Limp Bizkit is actually very American if you think about it.  They’re loud.  They’re obnoxious to anyone that’s not them or to anyone that doesn’t like them.  They don’t give a shit what you think.  They’re fun.  And they kick ass.  So see?  July 4th and Limp Bizkit do go together. 

My favorite part of this video are the hot chicks that are all dressed like little Fred Dursts that do the choreographed dance on the roof.  Hot.  “Nookie”.

Admit it.  That song is awesome.

In addition to this being the birth of our country, it is VERY close to July 8th which is the birthday of your BBF™ model for today.  Here are some interesting facts about her that you may or may not know and which may or may not be true:

1)  She likes wiener.  Dogs.   I believe she has between 2 and 7 dachshunds which are probably the funniest dogs to see run.  Wiener dog races make the Black Baby Jesus smile.

2)  She is a proud mother of a boy named Hanz and a girl named Franz.  Your model for today often refers to Franz as “mini-me” which is cute.

3)  She and her husband once played a horrible practical joke on me that had to do with a G*ant Po*dle.  I have still not retaliated for that but I will.

4)  She has a blog of her own HERE.  She’s a bit of a slackass in that she hasn’t posted anything new in 3 weeks but go to her blog anyway and tell her to post something new.  I suggest using a lot of profanity as she likes that.  You can also tell her Happy Birthday while you’re there.  And scroll though some of her past posts.  She puts up a lot of funny jokes.

5)  She lives in Texas and is not a retard which is unusual. 

6)  At the age of 17, she was arrested for public drunkeness and indecent exposure at the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey circus. 

7)  Despite being severly learning disabled, she graduated from college with at least one and possibly more degrees.  I have unfortunately killed the brain cells that knew those details.  I think she has a degree in literature or history or maybe botany.  She is also somewhere in the process of getting her PhD.  Or maybe not.  Let’s just suffice it to say that she’s smarter than you, okay?

  On July 8th she will be 29 years old.

9)  She is the Big Boob Friday™ intern and she faithfully fulfills her duties every single Friday.  It doesn’t matter if she’s sick, traveling or working, she always adds her special touch.  And for her reliable and oustanding contribution, the BBF™ CFO wiserbud compensates her with whatever is handy.  This has included a gallon of gas, food, porno magazines and ass pennies.  Hahahahaha.

10)  For those of you that don’t know, her bit started way back when Big Boob Friday™ first began.  She was already our friend and had commented here on occasion.  But on one particular BBF™ post she left her now iconic comment “mine are bigger”.  Will that comment be especially hilarious today?  Yes it will.

The comment by itself is great for its confidence and brevity.  Of course, around here such a claim will not go unchallenged so she was told to provide proof to support her audacious claim of “mine are bigger”.  That’s when she linked this photograph of herself.

Wiserbud and I were on the thread at the time and I remember we had nothing.  No response.  No smart ass comment.  No snide remark.  No funny.  Nothing.  Only stunned, awed silence.  Hahahahahaha!!

I would like to thank our beauty for today for being a part of this crap every Friday.  It would not be the same without her.  Please send lots of love and bottle rockets to your outrageously HAWT BBF™ model for today, Friday, July 4th, 2008, SOHOS!!!!!!  YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She may or may not be attempting to dance in that picture.

On this day in history…

*  In 1776, the greatest nation ever conceived by God or man declared its independence from the dentally-challenged British, forever relegating France to the role of global pussy.

*  In 1883, Rube Goldberg was born in a 227 step delivery process that lasted 18 hours.

*  In 1927, Gina Lollabrigida was born.

*  In 1862, Lewis Carroll creates Alice in Wonderland for Alice Liddell.

*  In 1969, “Give Peace A Chance” was released by the Plastic Ono Band.  To celebrate, Ann Jones beats Billy Jean King at Wimbledon.  As an aside, Billy Jean King was the first woman about whom I remember thinking to myself, “Is that really a man?”  Interesting trivia: wiserbud once dated Billy Jean King.

*  In 1960, the new American flag featuring Hawaii was unfurled.  Little known fact: Hawaii was, in fact the 50th state, not the 57th.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July weekend.  Remember to be thankful that you weren’t born an impoverished, malnourished child in Sudan.  We were all born in the greatest country in the history of time.  That makes us all special and for that we should all be thankful.

Cheers!  And be careful out there.

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