Worst Sex Toy Names
This is more fun with beers or cocktails.
GO!!
Vladislav III Dracula Ţepeş, Voivode of Wallachia, Defender of Christian Europe from the Barbarian Turks. [edited to satisfy the Muslihoon™]
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The Spitter Pocket Pussy
The Magic Herpe
The Super-Sized Rosetta (2.3 inches)
The Fran Drescher sex doll
The Shrunken Testicles
The Rosie O’Donnell
BILLY MAYS HERE WITH OXY-ANUS!!!
The Shitter
WD-40
The Weeping Lemur
Salad Spinner
The Howler Monkey
Jeff
Lifelike Ron Jeremy’s Ass
The “Gee, Your Seed Tastes Delicious” gay sex doll.
The John Wayne Bobbit Doll
The Helen Thomas
Tickle Me Blobfish
and knife set
The Impotent Loser
Michael
Lifelike Ron Jeremy’s Ass
Hahahahahaha.
DAMMIT!!
100 Grit Lube
The Jenna Jameson Life-Like Pussy and Detached Garage
Smucker’s Prison Salad Jelly
Buddig Ham
The Barbra Streisand Dry Humper
Ketchup flavored fish sticks
Shop Vac
Tickle Me Blobfish
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
Eight is Enough sex doll
Sledge-O-Matic
Dead Deer
The Anal Cyster
The Hillary
The Larry Craig “Shoe”
Ass Blaster 9000
Janet Reno Penis Pump
The Woody Allen role play game
The Disappointer
The Woody Allen role play game
HAahahahaha!
The Olberdouche Finger
The red-headed barfer doll
The Marrier
Fabio the Romantic Robot Fist
The Drunken Dick
The Premature Ejaculator
Pocket Elbow-Tit
The Tawana Brawley Hefty Bag
The Vomit
The Ronco Pocket Yeastman™
The Compos Anal Relaxer
The Wicked Pinto
Medieval Mace Anal Beads
The PJMomma
Oh, wait, you said worst sex toy.
Never mind
Buddig Ham
Bwahahaha! All Buddig meat is the same floor scraps, they just put different dyes on it to make it look like various meats.
The Chomper
Bud Lite
Yoda the Sex Doll
The Clamper
The OMG I’m Your Real Mom! sex doll
Prison Party in a Box
The Cryer
Prison Soap with the 5-Foot Rope
The Roto Rooter.
The Shitter
Lifelike Greta Van Susteren’s Mouth
Michelle Obama
The How Come Only Men Can Name These Things
The Love Cankle
Lifelike Greta Van Susteren’s Mouth
*BARF*
The OJ Simpson Cuddler
The Green River
KillerLoverHefty Tall Kitchen Garbage Bags with Cinch-Strap
The Mud Puppy
PattyAnn, you know the names of things that we don’t.
COME ON!!!
Sea Cucumber
The Cheese Grater
The G-Spot Denier
The Pocket Hillary
The Shitter
Oh, come on now. So good it was said twice?
The Oven Cleaner
The Soggy Tampon
Dirty San Francisco Turkish Bath Glory Hole
Gerbil Squirter
Cheese Sandwich
Your Dad’s Fingers
Gerbil Squirter
Hahahahahahaha.
Thh Pocket Hillary
Is it wearing a pants suit?
Your Dad’s Fingers
Oh shit. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA>
The Ronco Vajayjayamatic.
The Dirty Hobo
Escaped Convict - Warden’s Wife role playing game
The Passion Priest
The Defrocker
Okay, Your Dad’s Fingers has to go into the Comment Hall of Shame.
Out-fucking-standing.
Rape Me Elmo
The Altar Boy
the Pocket Granny
Forty minutes and almost 100 comments. That’s a fast pace, Race Fans.
Bukkake Boy Scout
Barbara Walters Talking Doll
Mom
The Cthulhu
The Angry Clown sex doll
Cement Shorts
The Bloody Spiker
The Bloody Mary
The Menstruator
The Michael Moore Sex Tape
The Brokeback Mounter
Oprah’s Old Granny Panties
The Ryan Seacrest
The Pus Maker
Post-Lemon-Party Diaper
The Club
Scabsy
The Pocket Stepdaughter
The Crabmatic
Dr. Scholl’s Foot Job Pads™
Uncle Timmy
Honey I Spunked The Kids
So wrong.
Asian Man Non-Vibrating Pleasure Stick
My New Daddy
The Fatty Arbuckle Special
The Ace of Spades Pleasure Vibrator with Technical Difficulties
The Clit Clipper
Brewfan Goes “Fishing”
8 girls 1 mouth
The Urinal Cake
The Vibrating Clarinet
The Laura Ingraham
(Brewfan only)
The Bat Cave
The Red Tide Sex Doll
The Andi
The Let’s Get to Know Each Other First sex doll
Bart’s Blanket
The Innocent Bystander
The “I want to be a virgin until I get married” doll
The Hump
The douchenozzle
The Blue Baller
The Crap Dong
The Mother Superior
The Emasculator
The Barnyard Adventure
Jeff
The Barnyard Adventure
Hahahahahahaha.
The Mrs. Brewfan
The Lone Raper
The Abortionator
WE’RE GOING TO NEED A COUPLE OF MORE BUSSES IN HERE FOR BREWFAN!!
Wait — make that:
The Mrs. Brewfan ON SALE!!! 50% OFF!!!!!!
Jeff
Dude, That’s two.
The Beer Brat
The Plagerizer
The Stretching Choad Machine
The Apologizer
The Rancid Leakage
Fred Flintbone
The Forgiveness
The Speculum
Charlie Brown Eye Massager
The Bat Pole
The Triple Penetrator
The Cheap Fuck in the Bus Station Bathroom
The Lawyer
Tube Sock
Wet Noodle with Ass Stick
The Chris Hansen
The Mormon Doll — Six Pack Special
The Penis Sushi-izer
International Harvester Ass Hammer
International Harvester Ass Hammer™
The Blade
The At-Least-I-Won’t-Kill-You Abominable Austrian kit.
The Clitorectomizer
Johnny Quest Wrong Hole Probe
The Daily Kos
The At-Least-I-Won’t-Kill-You Abominable Austrian kit.
HahaHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*uncomfortable*
Johnny Quest Wrong Hole Probe
sold alone or with The Bandit™
Al Gore Global Warmer
Crotchless Lederhosen
Hoe Made Pie
The John Holmes Deflowering Hammer
Roman Shower Cap
Ace’s Spade
The Al Sharpton Outrage Machine
The R. Kelly Shower Head
The R. Kelly Shower Head
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!
So wrong!
Girls Gone Dead videos
The Bill Clinton Crooked Cock
THe Donkeynator
The Somali Rape-O-Matic Doll™
The Texas Sinkhole
Mao Tse Tongue
The Roman Polanski Devirginizer
Your First King Kong DVDA Wand with Exploding Tips
The Gerbil Cage
The Jimmy Carter Bend-Over Negotiator
Be back in a little bit. The woman is home. Ha.
Slap her once for me!
The Rosetta
The Mutant Negro
Oops,
The Rosetta Bone
The Pocket First Grader
The Raging Muslim
The Pocket Frigid Wife
Goat in a Burka™
The Clamshell
An hour later and i still haven’t thought of one name.
The Fishwife
performance anxiety
The Fucking Moron
I beg of you, could someone please change “Vlad the Implaer” to “Vladislav III Dracula Ţepeş, Voivode of Wallachia, Defender of Christian Europe from the Barbarian Turks” or at least to “Vlad the Impaler”? (”Ţepeş” means “Impaler” in Romanian. It is pronounced “Tsepesh”.)
Thank you.
An hour later and i still haven’t thought of one name.
Your avatar is perfect then, huh?
Mrs Rosetta said to kick wiserbud in the pussy. I swear she said that.
Habenero Lube
I beg of you,……
And Muslihoon ZZZZZZOOOOOOOMS ahead in the “most hated commenter” derby!
So, I take it you slapped her for me then? Thanks!
Thai Tranny Hooker Spray
The Pre-op tranny
The Bob Munck
The
Kare-KareLouThe Pre-pre-op Tranny aka Wiserbud.
Krispy Creme
The Pocket Puppy
The Loo with Lou (for those who like, er, special showers).
The Diseased Muslihoon
The Pocket Porcupine
It’s still there! I don’t know what an Implaer is!
The Boy in the Bubble
Shit in a Sock
The Rock Hudson
the infector
forged shoots…he SCORES!!!
The Skidmark
Little Orphan Danny
The CIA Conspiracy To Infect Negroes With AIDS
The John Wayne Gacy
The Homeless One-Nighter
Kevorkian Kreme
The Pneumatic Lubricated Helen Thomas
The “Is it in yet?” Doll
Here’s a toy…my husband’s sister…she thinks she is cute, we are all embarrassed. She is also in a band called -Check Mate (cool name) enjoy…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-sDjJdqzZw
The Buckeye
The “obnoxious dancing, please make it stop” Doll
“cute” is such a ……… subjective concept, doncha think?
The Fuckstick
All her dances seem to be the same. I’d still hit it though.
The Pocket Syphilitic Whore
The Giant Poodle
The Grubby Chubby
the sandpaper torpedo
All her dances seem to be the same. I’d still hit it though.
if you saw how much she smoked and listened to her cat stories…trust me, you will be running far far far away.
Her Don’t Worry Be Happy dance is a bit subtler, but still the same basic moves. Kinda get the feeling she’s into New Age healing and stuff. Still, i’d hit it.
The Real Obnoxious Dance (those those with a fetish for Soviet-loving Germans)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQAKRw6mToA
“cute” is such a ……… subjective concept, doncha think?
uh..yes…I would agree.
The Accountant
The Threadjacker
She’s got like 300 of those videos. I’d be running long before any cat stories.
if you saw how much she smoked and listened to her cat stories…trust me, you will be running far far far away.
Smoking? No problem. Cat stories? Eh, i’ll just get drunk and zone out.
Whoever fixed the description of the great prince, you totally rock! Thank you!
Now, back to your regularly-scheduled snarktastic Musli…
The Stinkfinger
The New York Giant
The Tony Homo
Ghost Ship
(watch this to understand how this may be a sex toy: http://youtube.com/watch?v=tt0hml2j43E)
The Green Bay Packer
The Chicago White Sock
The St. Louis Ram
The Tennessee Titan
That was supposed to be The Tennessee Tightone
The Green Bay Fudge Packer.
Guess i’ll have to do Rosettas job.
I just heard the explosion video for the first time. Coooooooooooooooooool!
Another toy: The Growing Mushroom (Cloud).
The Miami Dolphin
Late to the party again…
Here’s one for Wicked Pinto:
The Spudder
The Hot Dog
The Hallway
The Ham Wallet
The Pocket Frigid Wife
An empty pocket, or is that when your hand rejects you?
The Understander
The Unqualified Secretary
The Unqualified Secretary
No, that’s one of the best. Sorry.
The Jimmy Crack Your Corn And I Don’t Care
HEY!! I have BBF responsibilities tomorrow!!
*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Kevorkian Kreme
I’m not sure what illicit substances led to that but I want some.
PASS!
The Fishwife
Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!
Mao Tse Tongue
OH. Fuck. That’s top 10 for sure.
The Cock Blocker
Comment by wiserbud on May 8, 2008 11:39 pm
The Accountant
Written by The Tax Evader — I’m a little short this year.
The Charlie Mansonator
Wrap ‘em up! I’ll take all of them.
except this one……….Guess i’ll have to do Rosettas job.
OMG! This thread was so funny.
Emeril’s Dry Rub
The Patty Ann Slayer
Lips on a Stick
The Hostage
The Moroccan Tickler
The Jewish Mother-in-law
The Vibra-CuntPuncher
Wiserbud, you’re a little too good at this.
Everyone’s gotta have a skill
Wolfgang Fuck
The Wife Beater
Mao Ze Dong.
The Buttafuco Bracelet
I saw that wiser! And I laughed my ass off.
the fistula-o-matic…now with lifelike seepage
The Madeleine Albright Bitchface
The Sausage Grinder
2 girls, 1 gerbil.
The Hillary Nutcracker
Uh-oh.
Someone put this thread up on the sidebar at AoS.
Well, it’s certainly up the Moronosphere’s alley, all this. But there goes my clean-cut image.
clean-cut muslihoon? The fact that you even visit this thread shows us what a naughty boy you are.
Now bend over because wiserbud wants to spank you.
The Fissurator
-
Shaved Ewok Body Rub
-
BitchBreaker Mark II
-
KuKluxGlans
-
AutoErotic Asphyxiaton for Dummies
-
Mega-Prolapse XL
-
Chthulu-Brand Tentacle Condoms
-
The random moron was good.
it’s a gift … a moronic, moronic gift ….
-
Tushar D’s CurryGlide
-
The Dentata
-
SpongeBob Contraceptive barrier
Not just ’sponge-worthy” - SpongeBob-worthy
-
KuKluxGlans
Hahahahahaha. NICE!
[...] a “worst sex toy names” contest going on over at WickedPinto’s. Good ones include “The Lifelike Greta Van Sustern” and “The Daily Kos”. [...]
Now bend over because wiserbud wants to spank you.
Wow. I thought BC at the Rott had a lock on BrainBleach(tm) Moments.
Thanks, PJM for a mental image I’ll never banish from my mind…
I’m late, but how about Square Bob Spooge Pants?
Thanks, PJM for a mental image I’ll never banish from my mind…
Anything for you BiW
I’m gamefor anything with spongebobin it
‘I Can’t Believe It’s Nut Butter’ flavored lube
whycome mah commints doan sho up? ah gots all mah teefs… ah kips em mah ol diafram case jes’ in case ah needs ta be ahdentalfried dentally,y’all.
Gah, I have no idea where that came from. I think I channeled Britney for a moment. No, really, are comments moderated?
Nope not moderated. Apparently the spambox wanted you to keep it company.
Ah, lucky me! Got it now. Thanks.
Hooters & a Blowfish