Happy Birthday, Robert
Today is a big day for our occasional commenter and frequent troll, Robert. It’s his friggin’ birthday. Here is a special birthday song from pajama momma, wiserbud and mesablue before he got his glandular problem fixed.
Not much is known about Robert because he’s spent most of the last several years in and out of mental hospitals. However I have been able to dig up the following information, mostly with the help of his ex-girlfriends, all of whom used the word “horrific” when describing their relationship with Robert.
1) Hey Robert has his own blog!!1!! You can find it HERE. It’s called “azresident” which leads me to believe that he may live in the southwestern U.S. Either that or he was killed in the bombing of Pearl Harbor in which case he is a ghost blogger.
2) Due to a barnyard accident in which Robert was kicked in the junk, he can now only achieve an erection when he gets to comment that something in a post is old.
3) In addition to being a talented blogger, Robert can also juggle two tennis balls for up to 30 seconds at a time.
4) Robert lives with his mother although he does have his own room in the basement. He finds the basement to his liking as he can avoid bikers and the other miscreants that his mom often entertains.
Here is a picture of Robert and his mom from earlier this weeK:
5) Robert is 24 years old today and is only 3 years away from his GED. Once he gets his certificate he plans to start his own business selling 8-tracks, laserdiscs and “used” porn magazines.
6) His favorite meal is macaroni and government cheese with fried yardbird nuggets in jenkem sauce.
7) Robert is a big fan of music. When he rides his stationary bike he loves to listen to Richard Marx on his Walkman. Sometimes he’ll workout to his favorite video:
Robert suffered from terrible acne as a teenager. If you have a strong stomach and you want to see a picture of Robert taken at his high school prom, click HERE. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
We’re happy that you are our troll and our friend, Robert. I hope you have a great birthday night and that you go out and celebrate!
Please check out Robert’s blog and wish him happy birthday!!
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Happy Birthday Robert!
If you have a strong stomach and you want to see a picture of Robert taken at his high school prom, click HERE. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Unfuckingbelievable
Unfuckingbelievable
WHO”S THE KING!!!!!
WHO’S THE KING!!!!
Those are some serious acne scars on that boy.
Happy Birthday, person on the internet that I don’t know called “Robert!”
Fake internet friends, are the best friends of all!
Happy birthday Robert!
I’m confused. Are we supposed to cuss for Robert like we did for Count last week, or is Robert refined?
Happy Birthday, Robert!
Happy Birthday, person on the internet that I don’t know called “Robert!”
Hahahahaha!
Six degrees of Bart.
Nobody dislikes illegal aliens more than me, but this guy is a jerkoff…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMSbZNLCNuI
Nobody dislikes illegal aliens more than me, but this guy is a jerkoff…
I’ve seen that before and I agree. There is a difference between being against illegal immigration and doing that kind of shit.
Flappy Smurfday to Robert! The boys upstairs like to call him, “Bobby, get me a beer, you little faggot!”.
If he’s a regular here, then he must be sick or unemployed…either way, Happy Birthday, Robert.
“Bobby, get me a beer, you little faggot!”.
hahahaha, I love our happy little family
That thing should clear up whatever pimple problem you might have.
Happy birthday, Robert. One day closer to the sweet release that only death can bring. Try not to think about that too much.
Robert, re: your mom. I’d hit it!
P.S. Oh yeah. Happy whatever
Robert, here’s some birthday advice from a slightly older man:
Drink heavily, drive fast, leave a good looking corpse.
Hey Richard, are you around for a while or are you doing a drive-by?
I’m here for a while. Why, you need to borrow money or something?
Thanks guys!
I feel like almost apart of the family….umm…maybe I should rephrase that!
Wiser, a slightly older man? I thought you were almost dead. Or better yet a zombie?
A beer…please next you will ask for Bacon…LOL and lets face it thats just gross. how about some Val U Rite Vodka. or a Grey Goose Martini?
Here’s Robert’s bad acne:
http://nicedeb.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/boyscout.jpg
For realies.
Happy birthday Robert.
Don’t do anything Rosetta wouldn’t do.
Don’t do anything Rosetta wouldn’t do.
Well, Hell. Why don’t you just wish for him to be found by the church elders drunk, naked, and sticky, face down in a ditch outside the local whorehouse….
I usually like Erasure. But they went way too far for my comfort there. And a happy belated birthday! I wished you happy birthday blessings in my prayer.
I thought you were almost dead.
Dude, from your keyboard to God’s monitor……
Blackiswhite, that is what we call Saturday Night.