Thursday Afternoon Stupid
Hey! Look what I found! History of lolcats!!
You’re welcome, Bart.
Also, extreme verbal abuse of a public access TV show host.
Hahahaha.
Is This A Double Standard or Two Different Standards?
There is some moron selling t-shirts with Curious George eating a banana with the words “Obama in ‘08″ on it.
I’m outraged, OUTRAGED I TELL YOU because the left would never lampoon a Presidential candidate as resembling monkey or a chimp but I digress.
I’m okay with this t-shirt because it illustrates the following points: actual racists exist, they are all ignorant idiots, and they exist in small and decreasing numbers.
Last night Anderson Cooper was doing a report on this and, as part of his official CNN duties as a newscaster, call this moron a….wait for it!!!…”MORON”!! It seems that MSM journalists are adept at identifying racists and bigots in this country and they feel comfortable going against all “journalistic ethics” and infusing their news reporting with their opinions.
Exit Questions:
1) Has Anderson Cooper ever called Mahmoud Ahmadinejad a moron and correctly identified him as a racist?
2) Why the fuck not?
3) Why does Anderson Cooper feel comfortable enough in a newscast to call out some idiot selling a Curious George t-shirt as a moron and a racist but he can’t seem to muster to same enthusiasm to call out the Iranian President in the same terms for supporting the killing of homosexuals, disobedient women and Jews?
A t-shirt vendor is a moron and a racist but Ahmadinejad is a legitimate world leader that should be negotiated with and whom The Obamessiah should be praised for agreeing to meet with.
That’s very curious indeed.
Douche.
Not An Ordinary Thursday
Because, first, here is a picture of the Amaryllis bulb that LauraW sent to me that bloomed into the extraordinary flowers you see. Each flower is about 8″ wide! (Thank you, Laura, I loved it.)
And, secondly, here is one of Bart’s favorite bands with a Thursday song!
[Video embedded by Rosetta who did not receive an Amaryllis from lauraw.]
Bacon Jews!
Finally.
Bottled water for the rest of us — Meat Water
3 eggs filled with bacon, sausages and ham
There’s nothing like a lazy Sunday! But who wants to go all the way to the diner and wait in line with the other losers for a table? With our Sunday Brunch Meatwater Breakfast in a Bottle, skip all that and get back to relaxin’! We’ve got a 3-egg Western Omelette with a side of bacon and a chilly glass of OJ all sippable through a straw! The only thing you have to add is the bottomless cup of coffee!
Best served at body temperature.
My favorite — Texas BBQ
Update: Heh, beef flavored beer for dogs. h/t sidebar headlines at AoS.
Coffee, Funny and Beatles
I was going through an old work file last week and came across this. Pearls of wisdom from Steven Wright.
* Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
* Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
* Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.
* Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
* I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
* Most people quit looking for work when they find a job.
* What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
* If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
* For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
* No one is listening until you make a mistake.
* Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
* The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
* Borrow money from pessimists - they don’t expect it back.
* The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.
Hahahahaha. I love that last one.
Here Comes the Sun.
Just Wanna Thank Wiserbud
That man kindly used his miles to get me a ticket to San Diego so I could go to my dear friend’s funeral. I just wanted to brag on him real fast for being such an incredibly beautiful human being.
Seriously, I do not know how I would have gotten through the past couple days without my Hostage and Moron friends.
In fact, I could not get through each day without the laughs, fun and fellowship that you guys give me and I really want to thank you all for that.
Each and every one of you have enriched my life in your own special way.
But a big hug to wiserbud for helping me see my family.
Oh and this post is “OLD”
Alas, The One That Got Away
Spent a good portion of my childhood at those beaches
Beach Bob’s Balls Get Busted
I actually passed on this story, yesterday because there just weren’t too many details, other than a guy in a speedo getting busted on a Floriduh beach. I thought, well huh! That could be a lot of guys…Jackstraw for instance.
But some more…er…details (among other things)… came out:
Beach Bob likes to sunbathe in a Speedo.
Nearly every cloudless morning for more than 10 years, he’s wheeled his tattered lounger down to the same spot, which he says is due west of where the boardwalk opens onto the sand at Bonita Beach, and sets up camp for the day.
And so his retirement was going. Sun-drenched, uneventful. Until one day a Lee County Sheriff’s deputy stopped by and wrote him a warning for trespassing.
The reason?
“Exposed scrotum,” the notice read. “Never return to Bonita Beach Main Access.”
Apparently families were complaining. But Beach Bob Hezzelwood was not going without a fight. So he hired a lawyer and got the trespass warning thrown out on a technicality. Now he’s planning to sue the Lee County Sheriff’s office because “his civil rights were violated”.
He claims the deputy lied about his exposed scrot, and caused him to suffer from insomnia because of the stress.
“I have occasionally rolled the top of the Speedo so that the (straps) are a little narrow,” Hezzelwood explained. But he insists there’s nothing X-rated about it: “I’m an old, retired fart who likes sitting on the beach. I was a little embarrassed.”
But the deputy says:
“The first couple (verbal) warnings didn’t obviously make an impression on him,” Dunaske, who says he’d in fact told Hezzelwood multiple times before not to expose his genitals, said in an interview. “He didn’t attempt to cover up or anything. He said he just wanted to get the most sun he could get.”
Ummmm? That sounds like testicle abuse to me.
Legally, Mourick says, a trespass has to be based on somebody’s complaint. Dunaske said several people complained to him about Hezzelwood’s bathing suit — he told the attorneys in his deposition that the suit was rolled in so much that part of Hezzelwood’s penis poked out.
Throw the book at him…(it)!!! PJ Momma’s kids don’t need to see that!
In Hezzelwood’s eyes, these are all manifestations of Dunaske’s lies. But the deputy says so many people were bothered by the skimpy suit that he was once cheered by beach-goers for telling Hezzelwood to cover himself.
‘Nuff said.
Hat tip Crime Scene KC
Really, really slow news day today
I’ve been trying to read the blogs today, but there is just nothing happenin’ anywhere!
And is it just me, or now that Hillary is basically done, isn’t the whole political thing just getting a little boring?
Almost A 40 Year Old Virgin, But He Got Some
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMhi8DAG2lA
Found in a thread off Ace’s
btw, if you think prison rape is funny, this man will not like you.
*sorry he doesn’t allow embedding
This is his youtube statement:
In this video, I talk about the depression subject that many millions of men in their 30s, 40s, and beyond are faced with: FORCED LONELINESS.
Believe it or not, there are millions of men that are in their 30s and 40s, and have limited or no experience with women. Many would laugh at this subject matter, much like Americans laugh at prison rape. However, being a virgin male in your 30s or 40s is no laughing matter, and just like prison rape, you’d be a sick, demented person to laugh at it.
I have a friend on here who I met recently on YouTube, and he goes by the name bill122460. Anyway, this Bill character, although he appears angry, is quite a nice guy. How do I know? I’ve personally talked to him on the phone.
Anyway, Bill came up with the idea (as I did years ago) that many men are forced to live a life of loneliness without a woman — NOT BY CHOICE! — but because rejection of the opposite sex — due to women’s rights and feminism — have driven men down this unfortunate rabbit hole.
Yes, it’s truly a sad scenario, and it’s one I need your help on. Please anonymously email me your life story of how you feel rejected by women in the dating scene. Yes, it’s truly embarrassing to some, but if we don’t get the word out, then most men will just live a life of pathetic misery, wishing they had spoken up years before.
Watch my videoS and feel free to email me directly to my YouTube email account. Later, I’ll be posting up a Yahoo email address.
Take care.
Steve
pjmomma says: To make a long story short women suck.
Doggie Style!
There is only one place I would ever consider posting this:
The dogs aren’t really the main attraction in this clip. It’s “Doppler Don’s” reaction that is priceless. The poor guy completely loses it.
Oh man…I almost forgot to Hat tip James Hart at Crime Scene KC.
If there’s anything ruder than swiping a video off of someones’s blog, it’s swiping a video, and not even bothering to say thanks.
Find the Innocent Bystander!
The Blue Ribbon Bacon Festival.
Hint: It took place in Iowa and he put a post up at AoS about the event.
Just to prove we’re not only about the stupid
My son Jon plays the trumpet and recently performed with his school’s band at their annual Spring concert.
I thought some of you might appreciate their choice for the first song.
This is the second concert I’ve attended in our city’s school system where they played this song. The previous concert, with the band made up of kids from all of the schools in town, played this, as well as the songs of the other branches of the military. At that concert, the band director asked for those who had served in the military to stand when their branch’s song was played.
It warmed my cold, pessimistic heart to watch as the audience loudly applauded the veterans, one of whom was my Viet Nam war veteran father-in-law, as they stood.
What the….?
A NEW TOY!!!!!
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
What Your Bumper Sticker Says About You
Noted good guy, apple pie baker and thread serial killer, cranky, has a post at Balance Sheet with a “NObama” bumper sticker and that started me thinking about bumper stickers. I’ve never attached a bumper sticker to any of my cars because, as a permanent fixture on an automobile, I think they’re unsightly and usually kinda gay.
I mean, is there anything more pathetic than that old, beat-up Ford with a Kerry/Edwards ‘04 bumper sticker on it? I think to myself, (A) you’re an idiot because you supported Kerry/Edwards, (B) you don’t need to feel compelled to share your political inclinations with other drivers and (C) you’re a lazy fucker for not taking that bumper sticker off after four years. After I think that, I pull up next to the car, glare at the driver and belch SUV exhaust at them.
And don’t you LOVE pulling up behind this freak show:
Friggin’ smelly hippy. I actually laugh at those people. 90% of the time the driver is a goth lesbian.
I saw this on a Prius so I’m guessing the owner thought they were “SPEAKING TRUTH TO POWER” however I thought it was so funny that I considered getting one to put on my car. Hilarious.
When I was a senior in college, my roommates and I had a bulletin board in our kitchen. On it I had thumb-tacked a black bumper sticker that said, in huge bold white letters, “DROP DEAD CUNT”. I bought the thing because I thought it was hilarious for some reason. It was so stark and clear that you could read it across the room.
Well, one night a bunch of us were going to the bars and one of my roommates and I had a brilliant idea. Another one of our friends was a face jock and a ladies man and pretty much an all around cocky bastard. Funny as hell but cocky. As we’re leaving the house, I surreptitiously peeled the backing off the bumper sticker and as I’m walking out with my cocky friend, I slap him on the back and say, “Let’s go have some fun”.
So we’re heading to the most crowded bar at Mizzou and, unbeknownst to him, he has a bumper sticker on his back that says DROP DEAD CUNT.
He walked around the bar for TWO HOURS leaving in his wake, angry, perplexed girls and guys shooting beer out of their nose. It was two of the funniest hours of my life.
We Love You, PJM
Please go over and give her a big hug and some kind words.
Do These Make You Hate BILLY MAYS More Or Less?
He remains in my top 5 most annoying people of all time but these are pretty funny. Too bad he was born without an inside voice. QUIT YELLING AT ME!!!
Whoever comments first openly admits they’ve had children with BILLY MAYS!!!!
Woman Driver
Danica Patrick was involved in an incident on pit lane during Friday’s practice at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway when her car hit a crew member from another team.
Uh, HAWT!!!!!!!!!!
Patrick came into the pits and hit Charles (Chuck) Buckman, the chief mechanic for Brazilian driver Mario Moraes at Dale Coyne Racing.
Buckman suffered a concussion along with scalp and facial lacerations. He was transported to Methodist Hospital for treatment where he is being held overnight.
Patrick was distraught after the incident, which threw the crew member over her car before he went face down to the ground.
No word on if she was putting on make-up at the time the accident occurred.
*runs away*
